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Avoid These Buzz-phrases: "helping others," "have freedom," or "be a teacher"

  • Giftedness Group
  • May 9, 2023
  • 3 min read

Updated: Mar 3

Have you ever said any of these phrases?

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"I'm called to be a teacher."


"I just want to help people."

"I just want a space to be creative."

"I want to have the freedom to do what I want to do and not have to work."


BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THESE ARE ACTUALLY ALL WRONG THINGS TO SAY! Why?


After years of counseling people to discover their ideal work and lifestyle, I've unearthed a thorough worldview of innate motivating factors (IMFs). Here's one real-life story of this in action.


In 2022 I flew from San Diego to Honolulu (a 5-hour flight) and a young woman sat next to me alongside her beautiful young family. Of course we started chatting about Hawai'i, which led to the good ol' convo:


Her: "So what do you do?"


Me: "I have a personal career in universities, but I also do career counseling."


Her: (lightbulb goes on) "Really? You know, I could probably use your services because I'm in a transition. I'm applying to Marriage and Family Therapy and Social Work master's programs this year."


Me: (having recruited Master's students into an MSW for two years many moons ago, my Counseling faculties go into fourth gear) "Oh, yeah? I actually know a lot about those degrees. Why do you want to do those?"


Then she said the Buzz Phrase of all Buzz Phrases that kicked me into internal light speed mode to help save a soul.


Her: "Because I want to help people."


Me: "NNooooooooooo" (okay, I admit that was only internally; but I also kicked into gear knowing that I could highly likely help). "Well, how do you want to help people?"


Conclusion to the 3-hour conversation: I took her through a short self-assessment on the airplane napkin, we discovered that her IMFs do not actually align with the IMFs for a MFT or LCSW! Her "helping people" was really simply the thing that was missing in her life as a young stay-at-home wife/mother. Technically, she could've done any of the following if "helping people" was her guiding principle:

  • Therapist

  • Fire fighter

  • Civil Engineer

  • Stay at home mom

  • Council Member

  • Walmart Customer Support phone line

  • Pastor's Wife

  • Flight Attendant

  • Professor

This is why you should avoid using the Buzzwords, "I just want to help people." What does that even mean to you!? You need to discover your innate giftedness, your core motivations, your design, your Innate Motivating Factors and get rid of any preconceived expectations put on yourself from the external culture. It's about YOUR natural giftedness.


So, I showed her a path that's more fitting to her innate giftedness that:

  • accomplished her "WHY" quicker and better

  • saved her FIVE YEARS of difficult studying

  • saved her $50,000 of a Master's degree payments and

  • got her more excited about her life/career trajectory than she ever has!

Is that not worth the money of a Career Counselor?

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What about for "Teachers"? Think about the different skill sets required for each of the following Teachers:

  • teaching a lesson plan to twenty children 5-7 years old in a classroom

  • teaching a spiritual lesson from a pulpit to 200 people for an hour a week

  • a home-schooling mother of five children

  • teaching a tour group through a wildlife expedition

  • lecturing for 12 hours a week in academia

You tell me, "I just want to be a teacher," and I'm going to stop you in your tracks. "Teacher," according to Simon Sinek's book Start With Why, is a WHAT and not a WHY.



So, next time you find yourself saying

  • I want to be a teacher, try asking WHO and WHAT you want to teach

  • I want to help people, try answering the following sequential questions:

    • What change in people do you want to see?

    • What do they need in order to achieve this change?

    • There, that's how you want to help people

  • I want something creative, you need to answer the question, "Do I want to create something physical like a building, a functional household item, art, ideas/systems, people solutions, or what?" There are so many ways to be creative. You need to know how and why you want to create.

If you read this far, I think it's time you reach out for a counseling session! Let's get you to discover and realize your ideal work and unique combo of motivating factors!


 
 
 

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